Five Things You Can Do Right Now to Support Your Kids Through a Tough Transition
Because resilience starts with connection, not perfection.
Transitions are hard. Whether it's a separation, a move, a new partner, or another shift in the family dynamic, change can shake the ground beneath our kids' feet. And while you might lie awake at night wondering if they’ll be okay, here’s something to hold onto: they don’t need you to have all the answers. They need you to show up. Consistently. With curiosity. With love. With enough calm to help them feel safe, even when everything else feels up in the air.
Here are five powerful things you can start doing today to help your kids feel more secure, supported, and seen—no Pinterest parenting required.
1. Read Together — Yes, Even With Your Big Kids
Books are a quiet superpower in tough times. They create safe distance between real-life emotions and fictional ones, giving kids the chance to process big feelings without having to say, "this is me."
Pick stories about bravery, belonging, friendship, or change. You can even try graphic novels, poetry, or audiobooks if they’re more your child’s speed. The point isn’t what you read—it’s that you’re carving out time to slow down and be present together. The magic is in the lap, not the literature.
📚 Bonus: Try asking, “What do you think [character] was feeling?” rather than, “How are you feeling?” You might be surprised what comes up.
2. Play With Them — Even When It Feels Silly or Inconvenient
You don’t need a long talk or a deep therapy session to connect with your child. You just need to play.
Roughhousing, LEGO-building, hide-and-seek, baking soda volcanoes—whatever delights them. Play is how kids process the world. It’s how they explore, release stress, and make sense of chaos.
Even 10 minutes of undistracted play can help a child feel seen and soothed. It’s not a distraction from their feelings—it’s often how they move through them.
3. Lead With Curiosity, Not Defensiveness
This one’s hard when you’re tired, triggered, or hanging by a thread (which, if you’re parenting through a major life change, you probably are). But it’s worth practicing.
If your child lashes out—“I hate going back and forth!” or “You never listen!”—try slowing your response. Instead of explaining or correcting, get curious.
🧠 Try this: “That sounds really hard. Can you tell me more about what it feels like?”
You might not like what you hear. You might feel blamed. But when your kids feel safe to express their truth—even if it’s messy—you’re building a relationship that will carry them through more than just this one transition.
4. Create Predictable, Safe Routines (Even Simple Ones)
In the middle of upheaval, routine is a life raft.
This doesn’t mean you need a color-coded calendar or a militant bedtime schedule. It could be as simple as:
Taco Tuesdays
A five-minute cuddle before school
Saying the same phrase every night at bedtime: “I love you. I’m here. We’ve got this.”
Kids don’t need perfection. They need predictability. Small, repeatable moments anchor them—and let them know they can count on you, even when everything else feels uncertain.
5. Reframe Resilience: It’s Not About Toughness—It’s About Feeling Safe
One of the biggest myths about resilience is that it means “being tough.” But resilience isn’t forged in silence or self-reliance. It’s built through connection.
So if your child is teary, clingy, angry, withdrawn—that’s not weakness. That’s a call for co-regulation. It’s their way of asking, "Can I count on you to help me hold this?"
Your job is not to fix it or force a silver lining. It’s to be the steady presence that reminds them they don’t have to go through it alone.
One Last Thought
If you're parenting through divorce or another seismic shift, you’re likely carrying a lot of your own pain too. Be gentle with yourself. You’re not going to get it right every time. You’ll yell. You’ll forget. You’ll feel like a mess. That’s okay.
What matters most is repair. Your willingness to try again, to say sorry, to sit beside them in the storm—that’s what builds trust. That’s what builds resilience.
You’ve got this. And so do they.
